It was the best sermon no one will ever hear.
I spent 6 hours yesterday writing, crafting, moving a paragraph here and one over there. Here a comma, there a comma, everywhere a comma, comma. I pounded the words on the word processing anvil shaping, forming them to the best of my wordsmithing abilities.
I stepped away from the finished product and pronounced “it is good.” I renamed the file and here’s where the details go fuzzy. Through a mad series of clicks the sermon was gone. I tried every conceivable method, even purchased a snazzy undelete program, to no avail. The sermon was gone. As the crew from Switchfoot observes:
Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is Gone,
Gone, like frank sinatra
Like elvis and his mom
Like al pacino’s cash nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
I mean vanished, erased, deleted, terminated, vaporized. The sermon death star displayed the power of a full working destroyer and obliterated my sermonary planet.
Whoever determined that preachers should not cuss never lost the best sermon they had ever written. Though used in the right context there are at least two religious terms and one biblical city name that came readily to mind. Bonus points if you can figure out the two words. Double bonus points if you figure out the biblical city. Though you should probably just leave the passage in reference and not the actual city name!
I’ll try to rewrite the sermon. But I already know it won’t be the same.
Randy Wray
April 21st, 2006 at 9:56 am
Does it count if we go straight to the city? How about Numbers 25:1? If so, you should wash your keyboard out with soap.
April 21st, 2006 at 10:30 am
No thoughts on the words and missing city name. If it will make you feel any better, this _______(insert “E -word”) said “Poo-poo head” (not in the mic) the other night when my son was thown out at home.
The guy I split the announcing duties with said, “”Poo-poo head,” that’s the best you can do?”
April 21st, 2006 at 11:11 am
Oh what tragedy to lose the best sermon ever in the history of time. The souls not saved, the spirits not uplifted, the hosannahs not lifted high, the amens and nodding heads, not confirming that the word of God is with us. Your PC must be possessed or in league with Satan, or a MAC.
April 21st, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Wow! That’s where the advantage of STEALING sermons comes in!
April 21st, 2006 at 12:41 pm
By the way, I didn’t know the reference off hand, but I did get the city right. Thanks to Brady for the reference. May come in handy if I ever write the best sermon ever.
April 21st, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Not to compare my pitiable attempts at comments to your blog to the best sermon ever written…….but that’s how I feel when I put something into words and the the @#!?+ word verification obliterates it!
April 21st, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I stopped reading your post halfway through, went down to my taskbar, clicked the Word button, and SAVED MY SERMON.
Thanks, bro. I had forgotten to do it yet and had put in about 2 hours today.
It is, for the record, NOT the best sermon ever. But it ain’t bad.
Sincerely, Steve from Fresnoim
April 21st, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Judy, watch your keyboard characters and wash your hands off with soap!!
April 21st, 2006 at 6:39 pm
I thought I lost some vacation pics a couple days ago. Try looking up “data recovery” on download.com. Won’t cost you anything. It took three (different) tries for me, but I got my pics back. Hope you find something that works.
April 21st, 2006 at 7:16 pm
I thought of the city, but not the other two words. I’m sorry this happened to you. Tought to lose the greatest EVER. I hope you didn’t make too much of a uelsdk out of yourself when it happened.
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:44 pm
Randy, if you were a woman I know you could recall the emotional cues — helps me recapture some of my best textual verbiage everytime my sermons go missing!
Have you read Mike Cope’s post today? He has an awesome quote from Barbara Brown Taylor’s ‘The Preaching Life’ (p 80).
I know what that rage in your throat and sinking-feeling-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach feels like. But with the right drink and rocker (!?!), and practising part of the same process as Taylor uses, that sermon will come through again. Sometimes it’s kinda like certain leftovers — they’re better the second time around.
Peace!
April 24th, 2006 at 3:36 am
So how did it go?
I once lost a sermon on the way to church, but it wasn’t really that good.