I keep learning or realizing these things about myself.
Yesterday I realized the difficulty of accepting a gift. Don’t get me wrong, in my mind I imagine receiving all kinds of freebies. Upon receiving the gift, however, I spend a fair amount of time trying to pay back the giver. Am I the only one affected in this manner?
There are certain relationships where, over the years, I’ve been the giver. I’ve also been in many relationships that have been mutual in the gift department. I’m wondering now if this is because it’s two people who can’t just accept a gift and find ways to give a gift upon receiving a gift!
Yesterday I was given a very nice gift. A friend of mine purchased and gave me a custom made classical guitar. He had been traveling in Mexico on business, came across a local luthier (fancy word for instrument maker), thought of me and purchased a guitar for me as a gift.
I was speechless, appreciative, grateful, humbled, and conflicted. I spent the entire rest of the day trying to figure out how I was going to pay this person back for the gift he had given me.
Most of us, it seems, do quite well in giving to others. There seems to be some circuit that trips when we receive a gift. Why is that?
Good for you!
Often, we think we deserve all the good stuff we get. A generous gift blows that thought out of the water.
Just be glad you can still be surprised by someone’s generosity. Many are far too prideful to ever be grateful.
I’m uncomfortable with being in the spotlight, so it’s easier to be the giver than the recipient. Maybe that’s the case with most of us. Anyway, try to relax and accept the gift in the same loving, gracious way it was given. I’m sure you’ve given much, as well. What a neat, thoughtful thing for someone to do for you!
1 Samuel 15:22
“To obey is better than sacrifice….”
So, obey your “thirst” and enjoy the guitar.
Perhaps our reluctance to accept gifts is a result of our disdain for dependence. Not that accepting a gift indicates dependence on someone but it seems to be the way that we interpret that particular situation.
I think in part we feel as if we must deserve gifts. I feel as if I deserve a handmade classical guitar from you, so this might work out for the both of us!
Seriously, though, I’m glad for you. One of the struggles of my life has been to accept from others. The only way to pull it off is … well, to graciously accept from others. Rather than repaying the gift to them, you be generous toward others.
I’ve been with you when you pulled a sack lunch out of a box in your back seat and handed it to a homeless person. That was worth probably more to that person than a guitar to you.
By the way, it’s very, very risky to take a guitar on an airplane (I don’t care what your father has done!), so you may want to look for a place to store that guitar out here. I may have a place for you!
Each year a wonderful guy at College gives me his (VERY GOOD) seats at Dodger Stadium for a Dodgers/Angels game. Each year I receive them gratefully and immediately begin to wonder how I can pay this guy back. It is the FIRST thought in my head. Not, thank you. Not, I can’t wait to see this game. No, it’s “How can I pay this guy back?”
He gives them because he can and because he wants to. Why do I DO that???
Its called paying it forward, now you get the opportunity to give to someone else!
BTW, my Japanese son, Tomo, who is a semi-professional acoustic guitar player, brings his very expensive guitar back and forth between USA and Japan on a regular basis, you can take it anywhere you want… Hey… you could even bring it with you to Eugene!
Perhaps it is the inability to understand the grace that God has given you through Christ that makes you try to overcompensate in other areas of gift-receiving. I know that it makes my head spin. (Sorry, on my mind from the ladies class.)
Peggy: My comment was under the heading “sarcasm.”